ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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