I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
