I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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