My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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