my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
