I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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