therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
50% drunk capacity currently
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
