I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Panties = found
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
