I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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