I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
