I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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