oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
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