I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
