how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
