If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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