why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
being pregnant is like rehab
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize