her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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