how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize