Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
