I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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