you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When are your genitals available?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
