honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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