"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
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I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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