i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
