i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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