You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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