I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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