do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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