What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
