Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
