That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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