you mean i was at the winter classic?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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