if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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