Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
