Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
