she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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