Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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