Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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