It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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