the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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