There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
