ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
