Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize