i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize