drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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