Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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