We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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