ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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