The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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