I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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