3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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