So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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