he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
