is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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