i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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