i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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