the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
