someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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