people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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