I wannas sexs uuuuu
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
operation harelip BJ is a go
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
