wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Randomize
