Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
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Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
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You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work