if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.