dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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