Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
