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• (831): View more from California

  I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.

  (1-831): View more from California

  stop. you already have a dog

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• (631): View more from New York

  we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

  Fav 8 3798 1232

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

  Fav 15 5949 2025

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?

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• (845): View more from New York

  Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.

  Fav 1 508 474

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.

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